With this year coming to an end, I was very hesitant before choosing my next topic for my final Apollo project. I feel that since this project is my last chance to create something in this environment, I want to make it something that would allow me to reflect on what has shaped me into who I am today.
My high school journey has been filled with many kinds of highs and lows. I struggled a lot with confidence my freshman year and that energy engulfed me for way too long.
One thing that really helped set me free is journaling. I have been journaling since sixth grade, and this year’s notebook will be my eighth that I have finished. Writing has taught me to find comfort in my own chaos, it helped me see that validation is NEVER necessary. It taught me that mistakes affect you as much as you let them. Writing taught me how to be okay with the messy reality of creativity. The fact that sometimes your page rips, sometimes your pen marks smudge.
This blog focuses on personal growth and organization. I went into it wanting to improve my time management/ organization skills while also improving my productivity and quality of life. I went about doing this by following my own version of a 'Self Care Challenge'. It really forced me to take time out of each day to focus on myself for a bit. Here is the documentation of my experiences.
Go See Some Christmas Lights
Today was the first day of my “20 days of Self Care” challenge and I was excited for this one especially because I haven’t really been in a Christmas mood lately. I went up to Rocky Ridge park with my family and boyfriend to see the lights they have on display. It was really nostalgic to see all the kids there bundled up in coats and wool hats, with pure excitement in their eyes. It’s funny how the magic they see rubs off on everyone around them, you could tell the adults were feeling festive too. Even though we didn’t stay out very long, I had a really nice night. I got to hang out with everyone I love, and it made me feel a bit less detached. I ended up running into an old friend when we were there, I hadn’t talked to her in about five months or so and it was so refreshing to see her, even if it was just a hello and goodbye. We caught up for a few minutes and made plans to hang out next week, and it felt like no time had passed.
I feel like this time of year brings more stress than joy to most people, when in reality half of the pressure is self induced. I wish Christmas was a bit more like Thanksgiving. Less consuming, more conversing.
I feel like this time of year brings more stress than joy to most people, when in reality half of the pressure is self induced. I wish Christmas was a bit more like Thanksgiving. Less consuming, more conversing.
Try a New Makeup/ Hair Look
Since it was Christmas today, I thought it would fit to do something a bit more fancy with my hair. I don’t know many fun and creative hairstyles really. This is the longest my hair’s ever been and I suppose I’m just too lazy to stray away from a bland ponytail. I decided to do two braids with the top half of my hair and then pin the ends into a bun. I really like the way it turned out and I felt more put together with this look.
It did take me a while to do but I guess in order to be quick I just need practice braiding. I definitely felt more confident because of it and hope to do more styles like this in the upcoming year. It was nice to get out of my comfort zone a bit.
It did take me a while to do but I guess in order to be quick I just need practice braiding. I definitely felt more confident because of it and hope to do more styles like this in the upcoming year. It was nice to get out of my comfort zone a bit.
Have a Christmas Party
Today my friends and I got together to exchange gifts and spend some time together before we all get busy. There wasn’t a lot of people there, even though originally we had a lot of people coming. It ended up being me and four other people. We all exchanged our gifts and just ate food and played video games all night. We rarely get time to all just talk which was something I really enjoyed tonight. I feel like taking the time to genuinely check up on people and just have a heart to heart is something really important, especially this time of year. It really made me realize how lucky I am to have people in my life like this. Even though we weren’t out at a party or doing much at all really, we were able to have such a good time.
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Donate Old Clothes/ Clean Out Closet
I was very excited to do today’s challenge, actually! I am notorious for buying weird articles of clothing and then never touching them. My closet is stuffed full, and I know it won’t be easy, but it’s so refreshing to clean out a messy space. I ended up putting a lot of clothes away for donation. Literal trash bags full of clothes. I also got rid of a bunch of old shoes and even inspired my mom to contribute some clothes of her own. I feel a lot better now, being able to look at a neat closet. I also color coded all of my clothes, so if I’m looking for something in particular, I can find it fast. Definitely a more time consuming challenge, but useful nonetheless.
Put Up Lights
This project ended up being a really cute way to brighten up my room! It’s definitely festive enough. I ended up using all of the extra strings for the Christmas tree actually. All the strands had some lights out so I had to get a little creative. I’ve got red lights and multicolor lights as well going around my bedframe and to the ceiling. It was fun hanging them up too, I got my little sister to help me pick a place for them and hang them. Neither of us were home to decorate the tree this year so it was nice to be with her, just jamming out to obnoxious Christmas music. It got me in the mood for the holiday I guess, I haven’t had the time to just be with my family in a while. I’ll definitely be keeping these lights up all year round, I think they’re way too fun to take down.
Reconnect With An Old Friend
My ‘old friend’ I reconnected with hasn’t been in my life for very long, but we rarely ever see each other so I figured this would count. Around this time last year, I met one of my best friends, Kati. Kati lives in Stuttgart, Germany, so it’s kind of crazy I’ve already seen her three times in one year. I visited her over the summer and we had so much fun and ended up getting even closer. I haven’t seen her for four months so seeing her was amazing. It felt like it had been so much longer since we’d talked, but at the same time our conversations flowed like we saw each other just yesterday. I took her and her other friend, Robert to Washington D.C to do some sight seeing over the weekend. We all had a great time and it was hard to see them go. It is always good to catch up with someone you rarely get the chance to see or talk to in general. We just had so much to say to each other and we could have kept talking for days. This visit really motivated me to keep better contact with her, and I made a new mutual friend out of this adventure, too.
Sleep In
Well, needless to say, this challenge wasn’t too hard. Surprising enough, I rarely like to sleep in because I fall asleep so early no matter what. I am definitely a morning person and though I stay in bed until ten or so, I like to set an alarm for 8 and make some coffee and wake up slow. So when I set no alarm last night I was prepared to be a little groggy. And although I definitely was, I remember dreaming which is something that usually doesn’t happen. It was sleep I really needed. I’ve been busy over break and I got up pretty early for the Washington D.C trip I went on with my friends. All I have to say is that today ended up being a very cold day and I felt extra thankful for my heated blanket and blackout curtains.
Look at the Stars
I wish I could have done this challenge for a bit longer than I did, but it is so miserably cold outside I ended up star gazing for ten minutes. I used to go out on my driveway with big blankets in the summertime and stay out looking at the stars for hours. I would just listen to music and let myself go in the endless abyss we call the night sky. It never gets old. I always feel so, so small but never in a lonely way. It’s a comforting sight for some reason. I think relieving these memories only made me sad. I miss warm weather, it’s easy to feel a bit trapped in the wintertime because most of the places I go to destress are outside. But on the flipside, spring is something to be cherished and to look forward to. You can’t change the weather, so you mind as well go enjoy yourself as best you can. Although I could only bare the cold for a little while, the minutes I did have out there were nice, and they were spent reflecting on what this year meant to me.
Call Someone You Love
Today I called my friend (practically my older brother) Vakai. We are super close, and have been ever since my freshman year of highschool. He is the one person who never forgets to check up on me and update me on how things are going for him. We always call each other on holidays, so I talked to him just a few days ago for Christmas. When I saw what challenge was for today I instantly thought of him. Even though we just talked, I know he’s been stressed lately and it’s always good to remind the people you love that you love them. He sounded really happy that I called and we didn’t talk for too long, but he filled me in on how his week has been and we made plans for next week. He told me he was thankful that I cared about him and that was really nice to hear. I don’t call a lot of my friends, not even FaceTime really. But I’ll always answer Vakai’s calls because he never calls to gossip, it’s always out of concern and love. I will always appreciate having him around.
Make A Healthy Meal
This challenge actually ended up being for two Apollo projects! My friends Maddy and Chika are doing a cooking/ discussion video (mostly about politics and not the actual food) and I was the guest on their video they chose. We made a big Greek salad with Chika’s mom and it was really fun. We included lettuce, cherry tomatoes, Greek olives, cucumbers, onion, and goat cheese, which is my favorite. We also made a lemon juice based vinaigrette and it was delicious. Maybe the salad just tasted good because we were all having a meal together and a very interesting discussion, but nonetheless I ate AND made a salad. I count that as a win.
Take a Bath
This was a much needed bath. I had Honors Choir auditions today, which stress me out every time I reaudition into this program. I have never really felt like I belong there. I feel a bit like the black sheep in the choir, I don’t have many friends in there. All the people there bond over musicals they like, or they have classes together or go to the same church. Frankly, I am not a very big fan of musicals and I am an atheist. Singing in churches never bothers me, I love learning about other religions. I swear it’s just the fact that I talk to nobody in the choir. Anyhow, I have not had the best day. Taking a bath at 7pm was just lovely. I put some epsom salts in and blasted my music. It’s just nice to collect your thoughts at the end of the day, where you do so doesn’t matter too much. We have a tiny bathtub. This would probably be miserable if I were any taller.
Go to a Bookstore by Yourself
I’m writing this in BAM. I love going to public places alone. I guess that sounds weird but there’s just something about being silent and taking it all in. There are all kinds of people in here. I feel a bit like a loser being in here on Saturday night all alone but I love places like this. I could look at everything in here for hours, especially the records. It’s also interesting to see the books that people choose. You can tell which people are regulars, too. Some people in here look like they’ve been planted in their seat all day, just fully immersed in their work. The coffee is expensive though. I got tea for $2. That’s some expensive tea. It’s kind of crazy to think that each of these books belong to an author who probably put their heart and soul into every page. I really respect authors. I wish I read more. Especially as a kid, reading can just transform the way you see life. There’s a man by the window who’s just been staring out at the cars for at least a half hour. Maybe he’s listening to a podcast. I love seeing couples come here and just sit beside each other in silence, reading different books. A man just walked outside for a smoke and then came back in to plop right back down and start writing again. I wonder what all these people are working on.
Compliment Someone Randomly
Today was the first day back to choir again. If you read my “Take a Bath” entry, you would know how I feel about that. I complimented this one girl on her makeup. It always looks so pretty. I know makeup is a personal preference but she doesn't need to wear it all the time. Anyhow, she sounded really sincere when she said thank you and we started talking about our favorite makeups and she was giving me tips and telling me how she does her eyeliner. Just a small conversation, but it made me happy. I have no idea what her name is but I think I may have made a friend.